Once upon a time ToS: Hansel and Gretel
by falcon crest
Summary: Once upon a time lived a happy family. There was an old woodcutter named Kratos and his two children called Lloyd and Colette... First fairy tale of the series, if popular, will write more. Rated for safety. chapter 3 up. Complete!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own, ToS, Namco does

PS: I don't own Namco eather, in case some of you wondered.

* * *

**Lloyd and Colette**

(OK, the title doesn't sound too much like Hansel and Gretel, but I'll try to do better with the others)

* * *

Once upon a time lived a happy family. There was an old woodcutter named Kratos and his two children called Lloyd and Colette. They weren't very rich but they were always together. And then one day, for some stupid and insane reason the old man decided to get married again with an awful woman called Raine. By pure greed she had spent all the money they had in ruins extracts and rare items to analyze them.

* * *

FC: Alright staff, any questions about the roles?

Kratos: I resent this role! Why should I be the old man?

FC: Because you're a main character and you're more than 40.000 years old. This, in my opinion, which is the important one because I am the author, counts as old. NEXT!

Raine: Why do I have a bad role?

FC: Because I need someone to satisfy all those Kraine lovers out there and anyway, are you complaining about your rare items and your ruins?

Raine: No, but-

FC: Then everything is alright! NEXT!

Colette: Is this going to be a happy ending?

FC: Yes

Colette: Then, I like it.

Lloyd: What's next?

FC: Just read your script and you'll know.

FC: Now that I have listened to everyone, it's time to get back to the tale.

* * *

So where were we…? Oh, yeah. One day the evil stepmother said "We are too poor-" (A/N:Listen Raine, when I say that you _say_ something, I mean _say_ not _grumble_ because you don't like the role!). Now, Back to the story.

The evil stepmother Raine SAID:

-"We are too poor, we soon won't have enough money to buy ingredients for our food, and you don't even let me cook them anyway, so how can we subside?"

-"We'll find a way" The poor woodcutter Kratos answered.

-"We have to let the children loose in the Graochia forest. They won't be eating our food that way!"

Luckily, Lloyd had heard the conversation. He knew they would be set loose in the horrible Graochia forest. So he went outside and took his pebble collection. If they were going to be lost in the middle of nowhere, then at least he would have his pebble collection with him.

The next day, Kratos called Lloyd and Colette and said: "We are going woodcutting together today, so come now and follow me." Both Lloyd and Colette knew what was really going to happen, and knew they were going to be lost. But they followed nonetheless. Sadly, Lloyd's pocket had a hole in it. Raine had been too stingy to repair it. Kratos told them: "Wait for me right here, I'll be just back." They could hear him sob, but nonetheless, he left them alone in the forest.

Lloyd suddenly noticed it. All his pebbles had fallen out of his pocket. Being abandoned is one thing, but he couldn't even bear the idea of losing his pebble collection! So he picked them up, one by one, and at the end, when he picked the last one up and looked up, he saw a house, his house. Both Lloyd and Colette entered screaming "We're back".

Cruel stepmother Raine wasn't happy with this. They were supposed to be abandoned and be fed to whatever monster was hungry over there. So that night, she gave them some bread and looked the room up. Now Lloyd couldn't even get to his pebble collection. The next day, Kratos brought them farther and farther in the forest, and they were eating their bread, but they had to be so careful about the monsters around them, that they didn't eat properly and crumbs fell on the floor.

Kratos once again left them in the middle, of the forest and went back home with silent tears. Later, Lloyd and Colette were hungry. They tried to go back home but they were lost. A ten-foot tall six armed skeleton surprised them, and they beat the hell out of this intruder who didn't even let them be abandoned in peace. The sword dancer then said. "Okay, okay, you got me… Hey, let's say I tell you somewhere you can eat and you let me stay alive… I still need to go to Iselia and hopefully scare someone. Deal?" Lloyd and Colette accepted and he pointed in a direction. "Walk straight that way and you'll get food" he told them. So they left the half undead skeleton on the floor and walked to the general direction he had pointed at.

* * *

Kratos: What's with me sobbing all the time?

FC: I decided to make you a bit more compassionate and consider you actually _care_ about your son's life.

Raine: I don't like my role

FC: complain to someone else, it's not like I care. Anyway, you were just a minor role and you won't participate in the second part of the story.

Lloyd & Colette: We're hungry…

FC: Don't worry; you'll eat in the second part

Kratos & Raine: Hey why are you nicer with them than with us?

FC: Because they're the main characters, no go away in your small house and do whatever you want to do.


	2. Chapter 2

Second part of the tale.

* * *

Lloyd and Colette were lost again in the forest

* * *

Wait a second dear children and readers...

FC: How the hell did you get lost?

Lloyd & Colette: It's a scary forest.

FC: The sword dancer showed you a road!!! He pointed out a frickin' road! How can you be in the middle of nowhere, and off the road? It was 20 feet large! How can you not be on it anymore???

Lloyd: There are monsters in the forest.

FC: Not a good excuse, none of them attacked you.

Lloyd: And how would _you_ know that?

FC: I know, because _I_ write the story, and in the story that _I_ wrote, you haven't been attacked except by the sword dancer.

Colette: It was dark.

FC: Yeah, but there still was enough light to see the road.

Colette: There were lots of trees blocking our way

FC: Not in the story _I_ wrote. You two just have no sense of orientation!

Lloyd & Colette: Sorry…

FC: Never mind, we'll try to continue anyway.

* * *

Ok, back to the story again

Lloyd and Colette were lost in the forest again. And they walked forth, NOT FIGHTING ANY MONSTERS BECAUSE THERE WEREN'T ANY and then found something better than food: a regenerator. They went to it and were immediately restored. (A/N: That's weird, I don't remember any regenerator in the Graochia forest… never mind... probably not important anyway). So, after being fully restored, Colette and Lloyd sat down and looked around them. What they saw surprised them, because they saw high tech equipment everywhere. Robots, electric lights etc.

* * *

Sorry, we _really_ need another pause here

FC: Do you know where you are? Do you? Do you? You're in the tower of salvation! How did you get in there by being lost in the forest? You can get to Mizuho by being lost! How did you get in _Welgaia_?!?

Lloyd: Err… the eternal blades?

FC: I'm getting a headache here.

Lloyd & Colette: Sorry…

FC: It's ok… I hope. But please, try not to do this kind of stuff anymore pleeeeaaase!

Lloyd & Colette: S-

FC: And don't say you're sorry, just continue the story accordingly to your roles.

Lloyd & Colette: Ok.

* * *

Sorry for the interruption.

When they stopped looking at the walls and robots, and whatnot, of the _Welgaia_, they saw a young child. He was blond and seemed nice. He also had an _angelic_smile. "Hello" he said, "My name is Mithos. I feel lonely. Want to be my friends?" he said very nicely. And Both Colette and Lloyd who were kind hearted said "Yes, alright." And Mithos looked at them carefully; he looked at Colette's eyes and at Lloyd's hand. "Let's go up" he said. And they stupidly followed him, even though they had been warned to never talk to strangers.

Before he knew it, Lloyd was locked up in a cell and Mithos had taken the appearance of an adult long hair, blond person. He had tight white clothes. "My name is Yggdrasil, you fools!" he boomed with a maniacal evil laugh. "Well Lloyd, I'll use your project angelus crystal to resurrect my dead sister Martel into Colette's body" and he broke in another fit of insane laughter.

* * *

FC: So, how did you like the second part? I know there wasn't very much story in it, but I used most of the allocated time to explain stuff to the main characters.

Lloyd & Colette: S-

FC: Shut up!

Lloyd & Colette: *nod a bit and then go away*

Mithos: Why am I the big bad villain of the story?

FC: Because you _are_ a big bad villain. Besides, you were perfect for the role, with being evil and crazy and all that.

Mithos: I have executed people for less than that.

FC: And this is _my_ story, so just shut up.

Mithos: *grumbles and walks away*


	3. Chapter 3

FC : Where did we leave off ?

Mithos: You were criticizing us…

FC: I mean in the story

Mithos: Oh… I had genially captured the two heroes.

FC: Ok, yeah whatever.

* * *

So Lloyd was in a cage and Colette was forced by Mithos to do all the domestic chores that had not been taken care of for the past _4000 years_. Every day, Colette was to bring Lloyd a lemon gel, a pineapple gel and boost up the energy level of his exsphere. And she would do that until Lloyd' _project angelus_ exsphere was fully loaded. But Lloyd, even though he was dense, knew what would happen if his exsphere was at full power. Because someone was megalomaniac enough to tell him! (Mithos: The evil villain must always reveal his plans!).

For that reason he had picked up a common exsphere in the cage. And each time his exsphere was buffed up, he'd actually power up that puny normal exsphere.

Every evening, Mithos Yggdrasil would come and check his angelus exsphere and see no improvement. And that continued for a long time. Until one day, he made up his mind.

"The heck with it!" he said, "I'll just take it now and we'll see if we can do anything later if it doesn't work!" He called Colette and she came… and tripped and looked up. "Sorry…" she said. Mithos was in a bad mood that day and so he decided he would do something very sadistic. "You will operate the mana core which I will use to take your soul away and activate your brother's exsphere." He told her and laughed.

Buttons, there were lots of them. Red one, green ones, blue ones "PRESS HERE" ones and "DO NOT TOUCH" ones etc. "How do I operate it?" she asked, very confused. So much for his big bad plan, he had to do it himself! "Get out of the way you stupid girl" he said as he pushed her and pressed buttons here and there. The mana core started glowing. "At last, I will resurrect my fallen sister!" he said and was about to laugh when Colette tripped and accidently pushed him in. "Sorry…" she said.

"Damn you Colette Brunel…." He said until there was a mana flare and he disappeared into nothingness.

Well, while she was at it, why not save her brother. She went to his cage and opened it. Lloyd had noticed where Mithos would put all the gald he paid the desians with and took it all. "Where he is now, he won't need it" he explained, and they left the tower.

The forest was greener, the light was clearer, the monsters were weaker and the paths were altogether more visible. Ever since Mithos had died, everything was much prettier. Until… they saw the sword dancer who recognized them and therefore didn't attack.

"Hello Sword dancer" said Lloyd "Aren't you supposed to be in Iselia now?" he asked. The Sword dancer looked puzzled. "You _do_ know that these are the Iselia outskirts… right?" he asked the brunette swordsman.

* * *

FC: CUT

FC: Do you two know you are lost again?

Lloyd & Colette: Err… yes?

FC: Do you know what the problem is this time?

Lloyd & Colette: Err… no?

FC: (rubs temples) You… have… just… went… in… the… wrong… DIMENSION! How do you do this? You get lost in Graochia and land in the tower of salvation. Fine, you only arrived somewhere that's only 500 miles OUT of the forest… ok… But now… How did you get your dimensions mixed up?

Lloyd & Colette: Err… we don't know?

FC: (Takes some aspirin) Whatever, the story's almost finished anyway.

* * *

Back to the tale.

"We're rich, but how will we go back?" Colette asked with worried puppy dog eyes. The Sword dancer couldn't resist. "Oh well, last time you didn't kill me more than I already was, so I'll tell you how to go home." Both children looked at him with expecting eyes. "You take the eternal sword, concentrate on your home and say three times _There's no place like home_" he explained. And Lloyd did it, he said the magic sentence three times and the appeared back at their cottage in which Kratos was crying. The evil stepmother Raine had died and his children were lost, he was the saddest person in Ozette. And then he saw his children and smiled. "Hi dad, we brought lots of stuff home", said Lloyd and showed the phenomenal amount of gald they had taken.

Kratos had tears of joy and looked at Lloyd and then, just to make sure, he told him this. "Don't die before me, my son". Now, he was sure that he wouldn't have to see this again. And they lived happily ever after.

THE END

* * *

Kratos: Why am I crying again?

FC: I already told you why. So just shut up and read the first chapter again.

Colette: So it is a happy en-

FC: -don't you dare say a word until I'm calm!

Lloyd: But-

FC: And that's valid for you too!

Lloyd and Colette: (nod and run away, really fast)

Mithos: why did I die?

FC: Because you're the evil villain.

Raine: Why did I die?

FC: Because you're also an evil villain.

Mithos & Raine: We are not dead!

FC: Yes you are, so shut up and get out of here.

Mithos & Raine: (storm away)

FC: Now that I have _kindly_ listened to everyone, I will just say this to all my readers: I hope you liked the fic!


End file.
